سعادة مؤقتة

في اليوم الأول لي ببيروت، كسرتُ المظلة التي أعطتني إياها والدتى لتحميني من المطر. فى الأيام التالية إشتدت زخاته بصورة ملحوظة، فبحثُ عن مظلة أخرى أشتريها من شارع الحمرا عوضاً عن الفائتة؛ لكن لم أستطع العثور على غيرها لأن المحلات تُغلق هناك مبكراً. مبكراً جدا مقارنة بمواعيد القاهرة. وبصراحة كنت أشعر بسعادة أكبر هكذا وأنا أمشي كل ليلة تحت المطر على كورنيش البحر. حرية ونشوة أفتقدهما بالقاهرة..
فى اليوم الأخير لي قُبيل السفر، وجدتُ مظلتي أخيراً. وعندها توقف المطر..

ولما عدتُ، أعطيت أمى المظلة الجديدة فقالت أنها ستكون مطمئنة أكثر لو إحتفظتُ بها لتحميني من شتاء القاهرة. منذ ذلك الحين وهى معى في حقيبتى الصغيرة، لكنها لم تمطر أبداً إلا اليوم – عندما غرقت الشوارع بفعل مطرٍ عنيف وكرات ثلجية صغيرة. بحثتُ داخل حقيبتى ولم أجد المظلة. وبصراحة كنت أشعر بسعادة أكبر هكذا. الناس كانت تجري أمامي، وتدعوني للإحتماء معهم تحت البنايات فى الشارع، فكنتُ أرد طلبهم برفضٍ لطيف ثم أضحك لنفسي جداً.. كنتُ الوحيدة التي تمشى وسط الشارع الغارق بالماء ورأسي مرفوعة لأعلى. بللتُ جميع ملابسى وأتلفتُ بعض الحاجيات التى كانت معى بالحقيبة. ولم أهتم. فقط كنتُ سعيدة – سعيدة ربما أكثر مما ينبغى. وماكان ينقصني إلا صحبة مجنونة تقرر مشاركتي سعادة ولو مؤقتة..

Shopping alone, so what?

Because I hate shopping, I used to postpone each time till the next time – and usually next time never comes. Almost all my friends are shopaholic, they love to do shopping day and night – and that’s enough for a nightmare. There is always “sale” somewhere they’ll go to and call it a good bargain. Frankly, I tend not to understand what is so good about buying a new shoe every other week? Why not buy a shoe when you need a shoe – that’s it?!

I’ve tried every possible way to make shopping seem fun. I tried going to fancy places and below average ones, with my parents and sometimes with my friends. But all experiences were the same. Shopping is lame..

However because today I had to do some urgent shopping, and no one was free to join, so I had to do it for the first time alone. And although I didn’t buy most of the things on my list, I didn’t mourn it as usual. In fact, I enjoyed shopping for the first time.
That was the most interesting thing that happened today!

I didn’t have someone bugging me with advices to look here or there, I headed directly to my favourite shops, tried the things that caught my eyes – then left. And while walking, I spent quality time at a library for used books, whereas I always crave for doing so and can’t because the one with me always doesn’t want to take a look. I also searched for a gift I want to buy for a friend, while drinking my favourite sugar cane juice. And lastly, I ate my favourite shawerma sandwich, not because I was hungry, but because I wanted to – despite my hatred to the stares!

Actually eating in the street today was something that made me think about the changes that recently happened to me. Few months ago, I would have never did it.. I would have never ever liked [Ar] to eat a sandwich alone and in the street, even if I am dying out of hunger. To me, that’s simply the ultimate example of lonesome.

But today I enjoyed acting as an independent free woman. Shopping alone is fun. I even feel I am ready now to head the first fancy restaurant and eat dinner or lunch alone. I don’t mind anymore. I also believe I am ready to take my coming adventure.. alone..

مونولوج – أهون عليك

محمد عبد الوهاب
محمد يونس القاضي
مونولوج – مقام كورد
1928
أهون عليك ~

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كان عهدى عهدك فى الهوى
يا نعيش سوا يا نموت سوا
أحلام وطارت فى الهوا
تركت مريض من غير دوا
ليه ضاع الوفا

قابلته و يا ريتنى ما قابلته

محمد عبد الوهاب
مأمون الشناوي
~ قابلته

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مهما جرى لى و مهما يجرى
فى قلبى دايما أمل فى بكرة

عشرون عاما و أنا أبحثُ عن أرضٍ وعن هوية

أم كلثوم
نزار قباني
محمد عبد الوهاب
~ أصبح عندي الآن بندقية

أصبح عندي الآن بندقية
إلى فلسطين خذوني معكم
إلى ربى حزينة كوجه مجدلية
إلى القباب الخضر .. و الحجارة النبية
عشرون عاما و أنا أبحثُ عن أرضٍ وعن هوية
أبحث عن بيتي الذي هناك
عن وطني المحاط بالأسلاك
أبحث عن طفولتي وعن رفاق حارتي
عن كتبي .. عن صوري ..
عن كل ركن دافئ ..وكل مزهرية ..
إلى فلسطين خذوني معكم
يا أيها الرجال
أريد أن أعيش أو أموت كالرجال

أصبح عندي الآن بندقية
قولوا .. لمن يسأل عن قضيتي
بارودتي .. صارت هي قضيتي ..

بس احنا نحلم #ElBaradei

إحلم معايا
ببكره جاي ولو مجاش احنا نجيبوه بنفسنا
نبدا نحاول فى الطريق كتر الخطاوى تدلنا على حلمنا
مهما نقع نقدر نقوم، نشق نتحدى الغيوم، نلاقى ليلنا ألف يوم
بس احنا نحلم
احلم معايا يا صديق تطوى الخطى ارض الطريق،
يهمنى حلمى البرئ مهما يكون يفضل بروحه جنبنا
مهما يطول بينا الطريق
لو حتى تهنا يا صديق يرجع لقانا يضمنا على حلمنا
بس احنا نحلم

الجروب على الفيس بووك

Wishlist before I die

As I was checking the 3rd item on my 2010-resolutions today, I thought I should start writing down my 101-things-to-do-before-I-die list.. It’s always good to keep track of your dreams :-)

1. Plant Tulips in my balcony.
2. Build my own library.
3. Visit Iran (For the Islamic Architecture, and visit Omar El Khayyam’s grave).
4. Visit Spain (Al Andalus to put it right, specifically Alhambra).
5. Visit Turkey.
6. Visit Morocco.
7. Visit UK.
8. Visit Russia in the middle of their winter!
9. Re-visit Lebanon to see the mountains properly.
10. Tour the rest of the world.
11. Buy DSLR.
12. Do proper photography.
13. Learn how to play Oud.
14. Learn how to play Qanoun.
15. Study Media.
16. Work with BBC.
17. Attend a concert for Marcel Khalife.
18. Attend a concert for Omar Khayrat.
19. Work as radio announcer.
20. Meet someone who would surprise me with violet Tulips (without reading this).
21. Live at least a week in the desert.
22. Learn to cook as a professional chief.
23. Visit Syria.
24. Visit Japan.
25. Make a real snowman.
26. Parachute..
27. Visit India (specifically Taj Mahal).
..
..
101. ??

So tell me, what is your 101 list of things before you die?

Day dreaming of Egypt I know

On the day Mohamed ElBaradei, the former head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, returned Egypt to join forces working on democracy in the country…

On the day hundreds of spontaneous Egyptian youth, who have nothing to do with politics, queued up at Cairo International Airport to welcome ElBaradei home, and ask him to run in next year’s presidential elections…

On the day some Egyptian writers, actors, politicians and media figures,  finally went down to the street with people and honestly joined their enthusiasm and dream..

On the day little glimpse of hope sparked in the hearts of many…

I would like to day dream and compare #ElBaradei 2011 to #Obama 2009.. Let’s dream that change can happen..

Yes we can!

Hello stranger..

I returned back home walking again tonight after work, and on my mind was still yesterday’s thoughts. I was thinking about the strangers I meet everyday in my life. How many of them will drop in the middle of the road, who will stay as strangers as they are, and who will continue with me the path of life..

So, Hello stranger.. where are you?!

At peace with the world

Tonight I left the bus and went back home walking; and throughout the way, my last visit to Beirut was on my mind. I remembered the first night I spent walking with strangers in the streets. It was my first time to travel somewhere new and spend it with people I barely know. I was frightened. But then the other night I walked alone, I wasn’t as frightened as expected. The streets of Beirut were cozy and familiar, and I felt free.. free as I never felt before..

I always love walking and loved it more when I was taken away in a new place with new faces. Some in-comprehended beauty was added to the atmosphere, as I was re-discovering myself..

Today, I was at peace with the world. And as I am about to travel again, I wonder if I will have the same chance. I wonder if I can keep walking till I find my way back home..

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Was humming this piece of music by Marcel Khalife throughout the streets of Cairo. The one embedded here is not a complete version. I’ve trimmed it to the parts I love the most..
~ Popular Caf

أنا وانت ظلمنا الحب

أم كلثوم
بليغ حمدي
عبد الوهاب محمد
ديسمبر 1962
~ أنا وانت ظلمنا الحب

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أنا وانت نسينا نتعاتب ونتصارح
وعز عليك تسيب العند وتسامح
وعز علي أكون البادي واتصالح
وأصبح كل يوم بينا يفوت أصعب من امبارح

“We have sinned against love” is a relatively old song by famous Egyptian singer Om Kalthoum. And although it was first sung in 1962, it is still considered a hit widely cherished.

Actually, I advise you to try and listen to the song, even if you don’t understand the lyrics. I did a rough translation for the four lines quoted above; sadly, it is incomparable to original words in Arabic.

Me and you, we have sinned against love,
We forgot to be frank and reproach.
You felt too proud to give up your stubbornness and forget,
And I felt too proud to be the first to forgive.
Then everyday passes, became harder than the day before..